Sunday, July 19, 2009

So the procedure hurts

Well I thought I should post something since everyone knows I'm done. However, sitting at the computer is akin to having someone give you the Spock neck pinch X10. They told me it was major surgery, but those of you know me know the ants in my pants and I want to get back to it straight away. At any rate, this will be brief because at present my neck and head hurt so bad that it's over riding anything positive I may be feeling. And Erin, I will answer your email first thing. Out of everyone I know with MS, and I barely know you, I want this to work the most because of you. I'm a Dad, what can I say? The way everyone speaks of you and the few times I've just briefly met you make it break my heart to think of you with this so young. I don't want to make you forlorn, but that's the truth. I think in a lot of ways that's why we are all doing it. Absolutely the motive has a massive amount of selfish impetus. But there's also an altuistic side to it that sometimes helps when this pain is sucking!!!

It does hurt like hell at times, but I'm a pain wuss. I like feeling good. My good friend Joan reminded me that the dynamic we who've had this for a while have created probably isn't helping. Her husband verbalized it and it helped a lot. Those of us who have MS pain are used to "oh shit, here comes some more pain I'll have to deal with for the rest of my life", so we view it all that way. Bad things that happen stick around. Once again those who have this crap will understand that inherently. I thought there was a chance I'd be back to work Monday. Ha! Well there is only one thing I've been noticing and it's even with the pain; and it makes perfect sense for how I understand CCSVI. I can't catcher's squat (i.e. lift with your legs, yada, yada), so I bend at the waist. 100% of the time my vision will start to close in, to pulse with my heartbeat and I will see stars and swoon a bit when I get back upright. That effect is greater if I'm bent down looking for something for a while. It also "trips my trigger" to start being dizzy and the dizziness just increases through the day. Well that seems to have taken a break. I hope it's gone forever, because being dizzy all the time, and at times "can't do anything dizzy", is for the birds. At any rate, that's very preliminary but seems to be gone.

There is one other thing I'll mention, but I haven't been using my legs enough to know if this is really happening or it's just part of my slothishness (hey, it's a blog, I can make words up). My legs used to tingle from ass to ankles after very little use. This was the start of them getting to the point where they hurt a lot and where I started limping. I haven't felt that tingling yet, but I haven't tried to walk around the block either, so take that with a grain of salt. Well Barry Bonds is beating on my neck with a Louisville Slugger, so I'm signing off.

4 comments:

  1. Thanks for your update. I have checked every day. Anne

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  2. Lewis, you are in my thoughts and prayers. I am cheering you on as hard as I can from this brown paneled office at Select! I trust today will bring renewed hope and less pain. Hang in there my friend!
    rb

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  3. We're a Prayin and a Pullin fer ya Buddy!

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  4. "slothishness" Good one my friend!!!

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I've figured out how to get everyone to be able to post on here.