So I finally got to the physatrist concerning my shoulder. No surprise that the spinal acc. nerve is pretty badly damaged. Now I know exactly what it is and will just have to wait until my next appointment to see whether or not it's healing. It takes a good while for nerves to heal, they told me 1 inch per month and I'm damaged over about 13 inches of nerve, so this could be a long process. Knowing that, I will now stop talking about it except to update in a few months when they tell me it's healing or it's not. I have a good suspicion it is probably the former because the pain I've felt I believe I've brought on from over use. So we wait now. On to the better part of the update.
These updates have become a bit anti climactic since everything is changing at a snail's pace. You all know my expectations (where they came from I don't know since I know my MS is progressive and everyone who has immediate benefits is relapsing) were very wishful thinking for something quick. Well I think some things are changing for the better. The routine based things are the ones I am telling the most difference in. Walking from my office to the assembly department at work for instance. Or how I do at one of Sarah's soccer games. Those things that I do religiously and kind of 'mark' in my head how I've been doing. One thing MS has really put a crimp in for me is the fact that I am a stander. Before all of this I would even watch TV standing up a good deal of the time. I'd put my beverage on the mantle and stand there and watch TV so I could go do something during breaks. I would also always stand at my daughter's games. I haven't been able to for about two years. Well this morning I stood for both halves. I did sit during the ten minute halftime. But not only did I do it, I did it with very little pain, and no tingling. That was very good and it was also a bit of a surprise. I wanted to stand for a little bit until my legs really started tingling; my signal to sit down. It never started. AND this was the field where the bathroom is probably 3 soccer fields away. I made the trip twice with no limp. I was so taken aback. I mean you just sit there (stand there today!) and wait. You wait for your legs to start up their mess, you wait for your eyes to go foggy, you wait for dizziness and you wait for the spaciness and brain fog. It just hasn't been coming unless I really over do it.
And the walks up to the assembly dept. There have been times where I got all the way back to my office and realized I forgot a piece of data and had to go back up there. There have been times when that has almost brought me to tears of frustration. I mean after all I'm only talking about a little walking. It has gotten way better in terms of how often I can do it during the day and how it doesn't make me so screwed up with all the other stuff. The only thing that I really can't tell any significant improvement in is my bladder. It is still the same as it has always been through this. My balance is still pretty off too, but I think that's coming around. I really want some relief in my bladder, but if my legs keep getting better, the bladder isn't so life altering as I can make so many more trips with out making myself just have to stop. So all in all it's been a great week. I'm just talking MS here since my shoulder now goes into the category of injury. I really don't think I've had a headache. Man that's nice. This second round of surgery, I believe, has really opened things up (literally). I just seem to be on much more solid ground. All you MS'ers understand that innately. Being able to stand with a balanced posture, chest out and also GOOD posture, is very cool. It raises my self image alot; makes you feel like you're not so sick if you will. All of this stuff is really good news. Now with MS also comes the up and down nature of the whole thing. You feel good for a bit, then you go back. After years of that it just beats you down on all fronts. My great hope is that now I don't yo-yo like that and can start to feel like I know who I am physically and can stop dwelling on all the shite that is always negative.
So all in all I'm happy about all of it this week. I hope next week I can raise the bar a little higher. I'm supposed to get my physical therapy regimen next week and I am of the opinion that it's time to see if I can get into a little bit of shape. If I can, then I'll really be feeling good and knowing that this surgery is for real. Man, I can hardly let myself go there.
I really hope this keeps up. As it is with MS, you have to treat all your upticks as temporary. Hopefully I won't anymore, but that's a big hope.